


No Tears Left To Cry

by Tranquil_Tevine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Greek Mythology - Freeform, Heavy Depression Themes, Hurt/Comfort, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 15:31:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10993785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tranquil_Tevine/pseuds/Tranquil_Tevine
Summary: With every word spoken or action took, think about the consequences it could have on another. Remus learns this the hard way.





	No Tears Left To Cry

**Author's Note:**

> I was honestly just sick of seeing this is my documents, it's been there for 2 years :P Oh and yeah, trigger warning! It's in the tags but you'd be amazed at who doesn't actually read them, as that's one of their purposes.

"Harry, your parents gave their lives so that you could live. Gambling their sacrifice by risking yours is a poor way to repay them."

 

Eyeing the map now in Professor Lupin's hands, Harry's perfected mask of indifference slipped upon his face, hiding away the sorrow and pain which was like a huge chasm in his chest.

 

Taking a step back so that he was able to look at him without angling his head, he nodded in acceptance. "I understand and apologise sir. May I be dismissed?"

 

Frowning at Harry's sudden change in attitude, he pocketed the map. "Of course, I'll see you later."

 

He waited until Lupin had turned the corner before he had the sudden feeling of walls closing in. He was short of breath, as though he'd ran a marathon. It was coming to be too much for him to handle. Nerves were bundled in his stomach with a tight knot and his throat and nose tickled with the force of keeping his tears at bay. The tears he would shed would be a different set tonight.

 

His lungs were burning with the force of running, as that was what he did as soon as the coast was clear. The sounds of his footsteps were loud in the quiet corridors and he was thankful that it wasn't after hours. He was running, but not truly seeing where he was going. His destination was The Chamber of Secrets, a split second decision because he was closer to the girl's bathroom than he was Gryffindor Tower. There was no chance anyone could catch him in the chamber as he was one of the only Parselmouths that he knew of.

 

It was with a loud grunt and a slight moan that he tripped, banging his already severely welted, bruised and emaciated body on the floor. He hadn't been at Hogwarts long enough to recover from the usual summer at The Dursleys. He feared he'd reached his breaking point. There was hardly an inch of skin not littered with scars, whether they were his own or from others. Inner thighs, arms, legs and even the waistband below his underwear had little cuts. Sometimes, it wouldn't be enough and he'd need to cut deeper, somewhere different or more of them. He felt ashamed and sick to his stomach that he was doing this to himself but he had no one to talk to, confide in. His weapons of self-destruction were his only friends, but even they didn't ease the pain permanently.

 

All these thoughts and more ran through his head as he gritted his teeth when he was jerked harshly by his forearm.

 

"Potter! What where you're doing, dunderhead!" Snapped Snape. "5 points for running in the corridor and a further 5 for running into me!"

 

He released his arm as though he'd touched something foul, before swirling with a flourish, his robes billowing.

 

"Twat." He muttered, before walking quickly this time. Wouldn't do to have another run in with him. Snape was one of the many reasons for how Harry felt as he did, the most recent being Lupin. Not Lupin himself, but more the words he'd spoken.

 

Harry cautiously approached the entrance, promising Myrtle he would visit sometimes in exchange for her not sharing information of him visiting the Chamber because that would cause more issues and frankly, he couldn't cope.

 

Sliding down the pipe, Harry found a spot near the beginning of the chamber, thankful the Basilisk's eyes were closed when he'd looked over there. He didn't realise how huge the bloody thing was, he didn't really have time to observe it in all the panic. He didn't know if the gaze was deadly in death or not but he wasn't willing to risk it. He'd picked up an animal bone in the previous room and he was confident that his transfiguration skills would be sufficient for what he wanted.

 

A few seconds later, a small, sharp knife was in his hand. He had nearly run out of space on his left arm, as he was right handed so didn't have as many cuts on the other arm but he liked to alternate. He looked forward to the temporary cleansing experience, even if with each time, he felt a little more dead on the inside.

 

Harry rested his left arm palm up on his knee, making a fist with the hand. Taking deep breaths, he put firm pressure, but not too hard, onto the skin of his wrist. He drew slowly, taking satisfaction that at least he could cry this way, the pain, suffering, grief and all the hurt would bleed out of him, at least for a short while.

 

He'd lost track of time and it was with no small amount of alarm that he was meant to have another Patronus lesson today in 20 minutes time, he'd forgotten about that. He made 5 cuts in all, using a puddle of water nearby to wash the blood away. One of them was deeper than the others and bleeding more but to Harry, it didn't look fatal.

 

He always carried bandages around with him, whatever he could take from the Hospital wing. There was some guilt from stealing from Madam Pomfrey as she treats him well, but he couldn't let anyone know about this, least of all her as she would tell Dumbledore, which was the last thing he needed.

 

He was once again lost in thought as he absentmindedly closed the chamber behind him. What Lupin said, reinforced his guilt on the matter. Logically and deep down, Harry knew that the death of his parents was not his fault. However, years of stress, grief, abuse and a myriad of other things no young teen should have had to deal with affected his rational side.

 

He'd wondered if he'd have been better off not born at all. In truth, he knew nothing of his parents other than the album Hagrid had given him. He was familiar with the looks his parents gave the baby version of him but were in disbelief they were actually for him. He could always remember other kids receiving that very same look of love, but never in his memory had that happened. He had ruined 2 people's perfectly good lives and they had died so incredibly young, they'd barely begun their life. The guilt ate him up inside and while he didn't like it, the guilt festered for the death of Quirrel too, as he was pretty much forced to kill a man in the name of self-defense.  
Before long, Harry had arrived and was just checking the sleeves of his robes before he knocked on the door.

 

"Come in." the man called.

 

With a small amount of trepidation and not much of the cool confidence displayed earlier, Harry opened the door before shutting it behind him. For a second he thought about asking when he'd get the map back but dismissed the idea. He didn't want to cause any more trouble.

 

"Hello Harry, ready to try again?" he smiled pleasantly, before gesturing to the cabinet before him which was rattling violently.

  
"Yes." a steely determination lit up Harry's eyes. The memory he'd been using was the first time he'd ridden his Nimbus in the quidditch match. He thought it was a happy memory but he'd been using that memory and had no change. He decided to try a different one. He thought of being able to see his parents again if he just let go of the mortal coil and went onto the next great adventure. To talk with them, to experience what he'd missed out on for most of his life.

 

A true smile lit up his face. He yearned for this more than anything. He barely registered the Professor's words of encouragement and the opening of the cabinet before he let the thought consume him.

 

"Expecto Patronum."

 

Well, he had a Patronus, but certainly not what either of them was expecting if Remus' wide eyes were any indication.

 

He'd been told Patronuses were pure white reflecting the wizard, but his was a dark, murky grey. It wasn't just one, but 3 things. 3 people.

  
Upon closer inspection, they looked like the algea, sisters of tears and sorrow, goddesses of grief and distress. Harry remembered reading about them in a book about greek mythology in his old primary school. They each covered an area of despair. That's the way Harry put it.

 

_Lupe - pain, grief, and distress_

 

_Ania - grief, distress, sorrow, and trouble_

 

_Achus - ache and anguish_

 

Their parents were Aither, God of light and Eris, Goddess of Strife and Discord. The Patronus had used Harry's interpretation of what the 3 looked like because in truth, no one knew. They were spirits and therefore possessed no mortal body. Lupe was the elder sister while Achus was the youngest. Ania and Achus were twin children while Lupe looked around Harry's age.

 

The mist solidified almost, as though they were there before Harry in person and not just via an incantation. The 3 stepped forward in unison, the Boggart Dementor looked to flinch back from them. Lupe's eyes were raw with pain, understanding shone in Harry's as he'd seen the very same reflection when he looked into the mirror each morning. She looked to be on the verge of tears but couldn't quite release them. Ania was fisting her hair lightly, little moans and sounds of pain escaping her lips. Achus had both hands pressed to her heart tightly, as though to stop it from pounding so fiercely. The 3 advanced, circling the Dementor before their hands reached for it, actually consuming the Boggart and Harry heard the horrifying sound of a Dementor screaming, before the 3 sisters dragged the boggart away, disappearing in a bittersweet flash of mist and emotions.

 

Harry smiled softly, sadly, unable to help himself. He turned to Remus who looked to be stunned.

 

"At least I produced a Patronus, just not your regular one." he shrugged.

 

Remus was about to reply before he sniffed the air a little, his eyes burning sharply into harry's arm.

 

It was with no small amount of embarrassment to Harry that the blood had leaked through, staining the bandages and his shirt.

  
Remus registered what he was seeing and smelling. "Harry?" he questioned, taking a step forward only for Harry to back up one.

 

"I'll clean it up, nothing to be concerned about." Harry shot Remus a polite smile before heading to the door, closing his eyes in panic when Remus spelt the door locked.

 

Faster than Harry thought human-like, Remus was in front of him, taking a firm grip on his arm. He pulled away harshly, but he was no match for Remus.

 

"Please, let me go!" he shouted, falling to his knees with the force he was trying to wrench his arm from. The man got behind the young teen, releasing his arm only to wrap both of his securely around his middle, sinking to the floor with him.

 

"Harry stop fighting, talk to me." he pleaded.

 

"All talking leads to is pain." He whimpered slightly, trying to bite his lip so more of his weakness wouldn't slip out.

 

"I won't hurt you." he soothed, heart beating a mile a minute, clenching fiercely. He took a chance and while he was still on the floor with him, removed one of his hands to gently palm the side of his face, stroking with one large thumb.

 

He eventually relaxed, but only slightly. He wanted to heal him but warned him first. "I'm just going to heal your marks, I have a blood replenisher in my quarters. You'll be fine, ok?"

 

He felt the brief nod from his position resting atop harry's messy locks and murmured a few words, pointing his wand at the cuts. After seeing they were healed to his satisfaction, he pulled Harry to his feet, removing the hand from his face and instead grasping the colder and smaller hand in his own.

 

"I have some nice tea calling your name."

 

He smiled softly at the boy's hesitant eagerness, leading him to his quarters.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll see how this goes, if you want to see more then I will :) Also I'm welcome to title suggestions because this is more a filler if anything.


End file.
